Confessions: Anxiety

As in a dream
surrounded by familiar things
familiar faces, and some new
familiar situation
stripped of sense.

Strange new words
one new face
asks if I'm okay
I say, “Fine.”
Rising, nameless urgency.

Words
not understood
heart twisting, squeezing
Get up!
Wandering.

Cast out
downstairs
it's dark
some small relief
I'm in a basement.

Trapped
murmuring, buzz
distance, hiding
from the singing crowd
the rising menace.

Footsteps approach
bringing shoes
I had forgot
a smile
pauses the crescendo.

I try to breath.
He asks if I'm okay.
I nod.
The swelling song
breaks over me again.

I writhe
no words
one word
comes through the curtain
“Fear.”

An admonition
amplified
as from a sermon.
Wait, there's a door!
Too bright outside.

The singing
rises faster
closing in
squeezing
squeezing

Wake up squirming
not knowing:
in the world?
or in my head?
I try to breath.

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