12 August 2009

"Changes in your ranks"

I lost another spot in the “most dateable” standings—as though I needed that reminder.

This intelligence came from the Facebook application Compare People. Spelling out the word “application” there probably means something, but that’s not what the electronic mail message was about.

I also fell to fifteenth place in the “most reliable” category. At first I hoped they were comparing me to Mother Theresa or Carl Malone, but then I just decided to be grateful I’m not a meteorologist.

Sliding three spots to number thirty-two in the “bravest” category was a little scary. Like, what are people going to think if I lose any more ground? Everyone will start picking on me.

Apparently I broke even in the athleticism department. What? Compared to who? Maybe I need to get some more sleeveless shirts…uh, okay…join a gym. I haven’t been this insecure since…like…junior high.

So…what is it like to have “# 1 most dateable” on your report card? What does it feel like to have single digit rankings in anything?

Maybe if I traded in some popular friends for Whoppers... Hey, sounds like a win-win.

Uh, is this healthy?

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